pear blossoms in the snow

This post was about something else entirely but a lot happened in the past several weeks that made me want to talk about bullying. Bullying can be obvious and it can be subtle. It can be online or in the real world. It can be as simple as shoving someone or as insidious as ostracizing them or verbally abusing them. A word here and there is like a river, it will eventually erode a person’s self esteem if nothing is done to put an end to it. Persons in position of authority are either unaware it’s going on or often do not know how to handle it. The victims do not know whom to turn to.

​Left alone, bullying gets worse. Oftentimes, by the time it is addressed, the damage is already done.

Please, be aware this post contains sensitive subject matter which might be triggers to some readers.

...be the spark that ignites a brighter dawn...

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Choi Jin-Ri, best known as Sulli, was born March 29, 1994. She was a singer, an actress, a staunch supporter of women’s right. She was brave, bold and outspoken against cyber bullying. She died October 14, 2019 at the age of 25. Although an official autopsy report has not been released, the authorities have ruled out foul play and homicide, leading some to believe she died by suicide related to depression caused by cyber bullying, the very thing she fought against.

While I was still processing this, I heard about a nine year old who died by suicide. He didn’t want to go alone so his five (read: five!) year old sister volunteered to die with him. The boy had been bullied in school. Everyday, you hear similar stories. It happens to celebrities, to your neighbors, to the person you least expect and the consequence is a tragedy in itself. Lives are lost and those left behind will never be the same.

This shatters my heart.

​I didn’t know Sulli or the two children or the millions being bullied but I know no one should have to go through this. You don’t have to like someone or agree with their views. You do have to treat people with kindness and respect. The anonymity the internet affords does not give anyone the right to ruin another person’s life. People do not get over bullying. They carry it with them for the rest of their lives. You see it in the way they second guess any act of kindness or cannot seem to form a stable relationship. You see it in their eyes when the pain swell past their emotional dam and they decide it’s better not to exist at all.

It is said charity begins at home but so does kindness and love and mean spirited envy. Parents and guardians have to teach their progenies a different, better way. As friends or outsiders, when we see such behaviors we should not be bystanders. There are so many safe ways to take action.

We have to do better and be better. Life is hard enough without the extra negativity.

Always be the spark that ignites a brighter dawn.

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Resources

Never be afraid to seek help.
No Bully Help Hotline: 1-866-488-7386
STOMP Out Bullying HelpLine: view hours and chat online
GLBT National Youth Talkline: 1-800-246-7743
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (US): 1-800-273-8255

International Suicide Prevention Lifeline

List of Suicide Crisis Lines Wiki

Crisis Centers

*All links will open in new window

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at the close

I knelt for three days, I could not break here
But how long did you lay before you disappear
In the blink of an eye, all that I was is gone
The jokes, the dance, your song will carry on

I close the show in my custom made regalia
I watched you go as the stars fell in the area
I have lost you to the masses who remain
Faceless, nameless after my world turn to rain

When a fire leaves a dragon
All that’s left is a memory
When a queen becomes an angel
It cuts so deep you don’t bleed

Your leaving left a vast emptiness I can’t escape
I scrolled the screen as the dream begins to fade
When we were young, we never planned for this day to come
You exited the stage when life has just begun

You close the show in your custom made regalia
You were a queen, given black vased azalea
I hope you Rest In Perfect Peace
I hope you’ve found your release

As your spirit ascends, as you pass the atmosphere
Know that: these words can run, these words can kill
These words will never be the end of it

Still

When a fire leaves a dragon
All that’s left is a memory
When a queen becomes an angel
It takes time to heal