Sometime in 2014, I wrote a book.
It was not great nor was it moderately okay but it was 400 pages of my dreams and hopes. It was mine. I got feedback saying that it needed work. I edited, sent it out in the world, and the rejection letters, deservingly, came pouring in.
I wanted to burn the bridge so that I could not scramble across it and get lost, ever again, in between the slopes of my imagination.
Now, that time was not the greatest for me either. I was struggling in my personal life, trying to come to terms with growing up and conforming to a path set for me. Writing was my escape. I wrote short stories and poems. Started novels and never completed them. Those days were my lowest. In hindsight, sending out that manuscript was more to convince myself that writing was a pipe dream. I knew it would be rejected. I wanted to burn the bridge so that I could not scramble across it and get lost, ever again, in between the slopes of my imagination.
Long story short, I set the novel aside.
I tried to work on other things. I tried to seal the child I was behind suits and red-lined smiles but I was cracking. Pieces of possibilities and my potential flaked off while I tried to breathe life into a paper cut-out.
But the story never died. Instead, it morphed, spreading its seed into every word I wrote. I came back to the characters over and over again. I wrote their stories a million different ways, changed their identity, erased their world but still, the essence remained. A girl was still searching for her sister. A boy, himself. And unbeknownst to either, the world burned.
I brought out all 90,000 words today. I'm going to use all I have learned in the past three years to rewrite this story.
It might end up no better than its first iteration. It might get rejected. It might even be a dead end. I won't know until I've tried.
To anyone struggling out there, take a breather.
Pick up your writing utensil and release yourself onto that white space. You won't know until you've tried.
Again and again...and again.
chasing that creative spark that sets everything in motion...